Mother's Day

It was a lovely and hard Mother's Day.  Funny how that can be.  Freya and Thea were blessed today, so we attended Guy and Mikayla's ward, which is in our building, so we didn't travel far.  Guy gave the girls very sweet blessings, and I helped wrangle children before and after.  I love their little family and am grateful that we get to be together all the time.

After church, we went over to my mom's house for brunch.  We had breakfast casserole and french toast, fruit and juice.  Sadly, the french toast wasn't cooked (it was baked in a cake pan), and the breakfast casserole didn't get turned on either.  We had lots of hungry people, and little food available for them to eat.  We dumped breakfast casserole into large pans and cooked it on the stove, then did the same with the french toast.  It was hot and delicious, just delayed.  We talked and held babies and celebrated that we've got not one but two to share.

The moms

I returned home in time to go back to church with food to feed our Relief Society sisters.  Last year we did a special Mother's Day lunch and lesson, and it was very well received.  We did the same again this year.  We had chicken salad sandwiches, fruit, crunchies, and cookies.  The presidency members each shared a short thought appropriate to the day, and we left time for sisters to visit with each other.  I thought it was a very nice way to spend the hour, and I'm confident the sisters felt the same way.

Having been together at brunch, the DeMartinis didn't gather later.  I made some dinner (I know! I know! It's Mother's Day and someone else should have been making dinner.  Oh well.), and then suggested we go for a walk.  Kent suggested we walk the river between lower and upper campus along Maesar Hill.  It's a beautiful place to stroll along, with the water and the landscaping.  It should be a peaceful, pleasant place to meander.  Sadly, Kent and I were walking with Brandt and Blythe, and they were not being pleasant in any way.  They were fighting and hanging on us, Blythe was whining, Brandt was teasing.  I got sick of it, turned around and walked away from them.  On Mother's Day, I did not want to be with those I mother.  We had a somber drive home, and I had the children get ready for bed early.  Some days are best kept as short as possible.  

Here's the thing about mothering, and parenting in general.  There are blissful moments when all is well, the children are obedient and helpful, they are thriving, as a parent you seem to be doing it all right.  But those blissful moments are fleeting.  Most of the time it's a daily grind to keep children fed and watered, working responsibly, and behaving like civilized people.  They are more often than not defiant, difficult, and exhausting physically, emotionally, and sometimes financially.  They break your heart and expect you to forgive and forget, taking taking while giving little in return.  

But those blissful moments.  They are wonderful.  They keep me going.  They keep me working hard.  I recently said to Kent, after a particularly trying day with Blythe, "I'm done.  I can't do it any more.  She's mean.  She hates me.  I'm trying so hard and seeing no positive results.  I just can't keep allowing her to hurt my heart."  He reminded me of several instances where she's shown progress, and I have too, and encouraged me to hang in there.  That hardly seems like a good time.  But I suppose that having a good time isn't what it's really all about.  It's about nurturing our people and helping them achieve a measure of competence and joy in their life experiences.  It's about helping them become responsible, contributing members of society, who serve and love others and do good.  

Sigh.

If only it weren't so hard.  

Playing on an attractive nuisance at the trail head.

Brandt was hopeful the key was still in the lift.

But to add a bit of levity to what turned into something of a series post, I received this text message from Uncle Charles last week.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to a GREAT MOM!!!
My planned June visit has been pushed back to mid July to coincide with Bosco’s visit.  Looking forward to seeing you and yours - hope all is well 

It was followed shortly by this:
Senior moment re previous message - hold until next Sunday 

I felt loved last week and this.


Since I've posted the above, I will add some other things that Blythe brought home about me, her mother.  Two of them are fill-in-the-blank papers.  I will include the blanks and their answers.

My mom is more amazing than me! (which is saying something).  She's really good at cooking.  She is 48 years old, has hazel eyes and black hair! I love when she cooks me chicken-y-kiki.  She is always telling me to entertain myself.  Her favorite color is red.  She loves to clean, and is always eating or drinking food?  Her job is to look after me.  She always laughs when I say something funny  I love her more than my friends.  Love, Blythe

And the second fill-in-the-blank

I love my mother when she singsI love my mother because she loves meMy mother likes to bikeMy mother is happy when I do what she askesMy mother is sad when I push buttonsThe color my mom likes best is redIf I could give my mother anything, I'd give her a new bikeThe first thing my mother does when she wakes up is bike  (Do you sense a theme here?)
I like when my mother reads to meMy mother's favorite food is foodMy mother does not like to eat puffy pancakesMy mother works at homeMy mother's hair is blackMy mother is 48 years old

On the back of this long list, Blythe wrote,

Thank you for cleaning. Thank you for cooking.  Thank you for putting up w/ me.  That you for not giving me chores.  Thank you for letting me do soccer.  Theres more things I wanna write but I would use a 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pices of paper, but then I'd kill all of the trees.  Love Blythe

Touching words.  I'll remember them always and be grateful we didn't kill all the trees.