Always Have, Always Will

This is not a current picture of my dad.  It is from April 2007, but it is how I want to remember Dad.

He was so happy that Brandt would let him hold him.

My dad died last night.  Although he has been struggling with significant health problems for the past five months, his death came as a shock.  He had a heart attack at home, was rushed to the hospital and stabilized, but he had another heart attack that took his life.  Fortunately, as a family we were all able to be with him and express our love to him one last time.  Unfortunately, he's gone.

We went over to my parent's house on Sunday afternoon and had a lovely visit with Mom and Dad.  We laughed about funny things the children have been doing as we watched them run laps through Dad's room.  It was nice to be with both of them and enjoy time to talk together.  On Tuesday evening, I went over again to be with Dad while Mom and Mikayla went to a movie.  As I left, I kissed him goodbye and told him I loved him.  He told me he loved me too.

Yesterday I took the children to the zoo, something I may blog about in a day or two.  I came home and went visiting teaching, then had Kent's parents come for dinner.  And then I got a call that Dad was being rushed to the hospital.  The day ended with his death.  How does a day begin so normally and end so horribly? 

Following dialysis yesterday, Dad came home during a tremendous thunderstorm.  He got wet.  Mom began to prepare some dinner and went downstairs to get Dad some dry clothing.  When she came back upstairs she found Dad not breathing and with no pulse.  Tadd Cox, next door neighbor and EMT, worked on him, and Dr./Bishop Joe Glenn who lives across the street joined the efforts.  Dad's pulse returned, though it was not strong, and he was breathing again, and Joe thought he must have had a stroke.  The ambulance came, Dad was taken to the hospital, and we all gathered.  

Dad was taken in for a cat scan, and while there he went into v tach twice, a condition where the heart races with irregular beats causing a heart attack.  He came out of the v tach, but the doctor told us that if they couldn't get the heart regulated, it could happen again.  It did, but not until after we were all able to see him.  I am grateful that each of us was with my dad at the end.  He could hardly speak, but he said he was scared and didn't want to be in the hospital.  We assured him that we loved him and that we were there for him.  Eugene and Christopher administered to him, blessing with him calm and peace, something we all needed.

Dad died at 10:30.  We sat in his room until midnight, talking and laughing, praying and crying.  It was hard to see him lying there, knowing he wasn't really there anymore.  It is still hard.  It will likely keep being hard for some time to come.  I know Dad is in a better place, that he is pain free, healthy, and happy.  I know he lived a good life and has returned to the presence of our Heavenly Father, his parents, and may other family members and friends who have gone before him.  But he is still gone, and although I know I will see him again, I will miss him.  

My dad has struggled with many challenges throughout his life.  His father died when he was only four and he didn't remember him at all.  He was sealed to his parents a couple years ago, and I am confident they met him on the other side of the veil.  I'm certain that was a joyful reunion.  He joined the LDS Church when he was nineteen after being the only one in his family to be interested in religious things.  There were periods of his life when he struggled with activity, but he was believing and set an example to me of perseverance and continued striving at self-improvement.  He wanted to have a closer relationship with Jesus Christ and was working to be more faithful.  Mom and Dad divorced when I was twelve, but they remarried each other when I was fifteen.  Although there was some conflict in my parent's marriage (just like all marriages), Mom and Dad were working on being better to each other and with each other.  I know my dad loved my mom.

Dad loved me too.  Although he told me this often, he also showed me in his actions.  One poignant memory expresses this so clearly.  During my freshman year of high school, I played basketball.  Our team was terrible.  We won one game through the whole season.  In spite of how bad we were, Dad came to every single game and brought my brothers with him.  My coach was an idiot and never got my name right.  He called me "Demartinez," not DeMartini.  Dad would cheer us on and yell, "Put in Demartinez!"  In subsequent years of high school, when I didn't play basketball but was more involved in choir and drama, he came to every performance, even though I know it was painful to him to have to sit through our productions.  He came because he loved me.

In recent years, at every chance, Dad has wanted to be with us--all of us--in the pool, around the kitchen table sharing a meal or playing games, or just visiting.  He loved having his grandchildren around him; he adores those children.  I am sad that my children will not know my Dad, his humor, his generosity, his tenderness, because although Dad looks fairly scary and can be gruff, he is tender and has such a soft heart.

Dad had a wonderful idea for a children's book, an idea I want to see to fruition.  The title is Always Have, Always Will.  As Mikayla was growing up, Dad would say to her, as he kissed her goodnight, "Always have," meaning "I have always loved you."  Mikayla would reply, "Always will."  I know my Dad has always loved me, and that he always will, and I love him the same way.  I will miss him.

Helpful Children

I'll be honest.  Going to the bathroom at our house can be a dangerous venture.  Not that anything particularly risky is happening in our bathroom, but dodgy things tend to happen outside when I am inside.

This morning, for instance.  I was taking care of business when I heard the water turn on.  Always a bad sign.  When I was finished, I discovered the children helpfully washing the car.  In the garage.  With the hose.  Wearing nearly nothing.  Actually, for the job, they were probably appropriately attired.  There was a lot of water; it all rushed down the driveway when I opened the garage door.

You might wonder how the hose got into the garage with the door closed.  Brandt dragged it into the house, through the entryway, and into the garage.

Blythe is washing and Brandt is rinsing.

More Pioneer Day Festivities

Each year at North Park in Provo, on the 24th of July, they hold a fantastic Pioneer extravaganza.  There is food, lots of booths selling stuff, demonstrations of pioneer skills, and fun activities for children.  This year there was a petting zoo, pony rides, you could make bonnets or mustaches, do face painting, throw hatchets, play an Indian drum, and ride in a covered wagon pulled by a 4x4 (very Pioneer-ish).  There are always firetrucks, old cars, and live music, and the Pioneer Village in North Park is always open too.  We like to go and mingle with the masses.

The highlight this year was the covered wagon ride.  It was a new feature and we rode not once, but twice.  The children also took great delight in seeing the donkey in the petting zoo poop.  I don't understand their current fascination with all things potty related, but I hope is passes quickly.  So here are some pictures, though not as many as I would have liked because the camera battery died.  Again.

The covered wagon ride.

So cool!

In a very large tepee.

Look! Poop!

So interesting.

Blythe is decorating her bonnet.

Isn't she a cute pioneer girl?

The outdoor themed adornment.

Blythe is getting her face painted.

And she wanted me to get mine painted too.

She took this picture.

And our matching stars and moons.

Pioneer Day Parade

Each year for the past four years we have had a Pioneer Day Parade around our complex.  It is a small neighborhood with few children, but we all gather, we "parade" around the block, and then we have popsicles and light parachute fireworks that the kids chase.  I asked the children if they wanted to decorate their bikes or dress up, but they both said no.  Blythe did carry her Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox, and Brandt wore Grandpa Droubay's hat and carried a gun, but that was as far as it went.  We had only a few spectators, but our sweet neighbors set up lawn chairs and cheered as we passed by.  Heidi threw Mardi Gras beads and flags, and we had intended on throwing candy, but then our spectators threw candy at us.  We like this fun holiday tradition that brings our neighborhood together.

 

Parade participants Gavin Matsu, Brady Matsu, and Adam Schumann

Simon Tanner and Jack Tanner 

 

Grant Seamons and his cute dad Bishop Todd Seamons

Annie Poulsen and her brother Nathan Poulsen

They don't actually live in our complex, but we like them, invited them, and they came.

They even brought candy that they shared with everyone, so we'll likely invite them again next year.

Heidi with her flags and beads.

Ethan Clark in his coon skin cap.

At parade beginning.  

This was the only moment we were actually all together.

Our parading wasn't very organized.

Suzan Nelson, spectator.

Dale and Patty Huillet, and Luella and Alan Hall, spectators.

The Huillets live across the street and the Halls are our immediately next door neighbors.

Mikey, Madelyn, and Kristie Case, spectators.

They should have been parading with us, but they apparently felt above such things.

They did come around the corner and have popsicles.

Heidi throwing flags and necklaces

Bishop Todd trying to help Grant steer.

Grant is not a very good driver.

Darlene and Gordon Lee, spectators.

Notice the enormous basket of candy?

They wouldn't trade our candy for theirs, they just made us take some.

Grant, Adrienne and Annie Poulsen, and Kent

A Mini Vacation

On Monday evening we left for a mini vacation.  Mini because we didn't go far, and mini because we didn't go long.  The children have been desperate for us to go somewhere in a motor home, so we rented one and spent two days in Midway at Wasatch Mountain State Park.

To say the children were excited is a major understatement.  For the three days we had the motor home, they were up and down, on and off, pushing every button and flipping every switch.  I was worried they were going to break lots of things and we were going to have to pay for parts.  Fortunately, we returned the motor home in one piece.

Brandt was especially keen about all things motor home related.   When we picked it up, we were given some instruction.  The woman renting it to us said, "Who am I going to show how to drive first?"
"Me!" Brandt said immediately.
He sat in the passenger seat, was my co-pilot, looked both ways, and talked on the CB radio.  He has been so pleased, every time we prayed he thanked Heavenly Father we had a motor home.

Our trip was fun.  Midway is not far, but we did entertaining things.  Our neighbors, Jack and Simon Tanner, were interested in the motor home and when they came over to see it, they had much the same reaction as Brandt and Blythe.  They ran up and down the narrow hallway saying, "This has a bed! This has a shower! This has a toilet! There is a kitchen!"  Simon asked how many beds there were, and when he realized that six people could sleep inside, he said, "Can we come too?"  So we had them drive with us up the canyon and Heidi and Darren came along after us and met us for dinner.  Heidi said, "You can't go anywhere without the Tanners," but the boys were so excited I wanted to include them.

We drove over the mountain to Park City.  It was beautiful.  We went to ride the trolley up and down Main Street, and to have an ice cream at a cow store.  We went on a lovely little hike in the cool of the evening.  And we went swimming at the Homestead and to see the inside of the crater.  We apparently wore the children out because they both fell asleep on the way home.

Although it was a good time, I think that we won't do the motor home thing again.  I found the space a bit tight, especially when Brandt and Blythe are at each other.

Blythe drew a porcupine on the dashboard.  

Oh joy!

Fortunately I had packed cleaner and it came right off.

Brandt really, really, really, really wanted to drive this thing.

Kent didn't however.  He let me drive both ways.

We drove up over Empire Pass .  This is Park City in the distance.

And Midway below.  

My new birthday camera has a panorama function. 

I like it!

The actual Park City trolley was in maintenance, so we rode a little bus.

Brandt suggested that we go to the shop and fix the trolley so we could ride it.

The ice cream store cow.

These are all the cushions in the motor home lined up from end to end.

It was a bridge.

I wanted a picture of Brandt and his water bottle.

It is tucked into his shorts.

He told me it was cold.

Swimming at the Homestead.

We ran out of sunscreen, so we swam indoors.

The children didn't mind.

I thought this picture was in focus.

Insert bad word here that it wasn't.

This is inside the crater where people were doing scuba.

You would never know that, but the light sure is cool.

As we were hiking, Brandt kept walking away from the rest of us.

When I asked if he would wait, he said, "No, I am forging on ahead."

We parked next to this lovely but very noisy stream.

It sounded like it was pouring rain all through the night.

Brandt "helped" Kent with all the technical function of the motor home.

Both children fell asleep on the way home.

They must have had a good time.