The day of Mom’s departure nears (SOB SOB) and today she spoke in church. She did a great job, but she had all of us crying before she even got to the meat of her comments. She talked about Dad and the pool and suddenly up and down the three rows we were occupying, everyone was near sobbing. But her talk was wonderful and I will include it at the end of the post.
We had a luncheon afterward for anyone who wanted to stop by. Georgianne and Lauren, Tom and Darleen, Brendan and Rachel came as well as Wayne and Mary Beth Weston. Steve and Cammie stopped by and then all the immediate family (minus Bryan and family). It is wonderful to celebrate Mom and her decision to serve, but the closer it gets, the harder it is to think about her being gone.
*insert ugly crying here*
A Crowd of Faults
Since so many new families have moved into the ward in the past two years, I, like so many others who have spoken in recent months, will introduce myself even though I’m leaving for 18 months to serve in the California, Los Angeles mission. I hope we have an opportunity to become well acquainted when I return. I apologize to you who’ve heard this information many times before.
My husband, Larry, and I with our five children moved into the ward 31 years ago this past August and live in the cul de sac directly east of the Church. I have two claims to fame. First, three of my children found their spouses within seven houses of our home. I’m grateful to share grandchildren with Steve and Camme Cox, Grant and Tessa Russell, and George and Merlynn Barrus who are and were stalwarts in the Church and in this ward. I feel blessed to have a familial connection with such fine people.
We also have a swimming pool which was a gift from my husband to our family. From Memorial weekend to Labor Day, I can plan on one or more of my children and grandchildren to come swimming. Summer is our favorite time of year. This summer, swimming was especially poignant because it marked the 10th anniversary of Larry’s death. Ten of our 20 grandchildren have been born since he passed on and I’ve thought so often this summer of how much he would have enjoyed swimming with them and delighting in their funny antics.
I’m happy to share this speaking assignment with Elder Matt Rhineer because our family has a personal connection to his. Early in our marriage, Larry worked for Matt’s grandfather John, and we are grateful for our friendship with the Rhineers.
***
I enjoy doing crossword
puzzles. Often a clue will refer to a group of something such as a flock of
sheep, a murder of crows, a fluffle of bunnies. Have you ever heard of that
one? Some time ago, I read a novel involving a police inspector who is conducting
an investigation and being assisted by a group of recent graduates from the
police academy. They are young, inexperienced, striving to make an impression,
seeking approval from their chief and respect from their colleagues, jockeying
to find how and where they fit. The inspector is perplexed by the group dynamic
and their agents’ lack of attention to the task at hand. In a quiet conversation,
he asks a wise and trusted friend and poet what she would call this group of
agents. She thinks for a moment and replies, “A crowd of faults.”
As soon as I read that, I thought, “This is my ward.” We are a “crowd of faults.” At the time, I felt no criticism or condemnation toward anyone. It was merely a recognition of the eternal truth that because of our fallen and mortal condition, we are imperfect and flawed. We make mistakes; we hurt others whether intentionally or not; we judge ourselves and others, and we often deprive ourselves of the blessings we might receive because we fail to obey the commandments on which they are predicated.
Despite our faults and failings, we are also a “congregation of Saints.”
The two phrases seem somewhat
contradictory until we realize that Saints in the Church of Jesus Christ in
these latter days (though still imperfect) are we who have received the
ordinance of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost and are striving
consistently to follow Jesus Christ and become like Him. So, how do we become
like Christ?
Elder Holland, among others in this past General Conference, provides one answer. In his talk entitled “The Greatest Possession,” Elder Holland recounted the story of the rich young ruler who came to the Savior and asked what he needed to do to inherit eternal life. When the Savior told him to give up all that he had and follow Christ, the young man got “cold feet” (quoting Elder Holland) and turned away.
Elder Holland states:
“. . . Ultimately
[this] is a story about wholehearted, unreserved devotion to divine
responsibility. With or without riches, each of us is to come to Christ with
the same uncompromised commitment to His gospel that was expected of this young
man. In the vernacular of today’s youth, we are to declare ourselves “all in.”
Elder Holland admonishes us to come unto our Savior, to come completely and wholeheartedly, to take up our cross, however heavy it may be, and follow Him. He states: “When difficult things are asked of us, even things contrary to the longings of our heart, remember that the loyalty we pledge to the cause of Christ is to be the supreme devotion of our lives.”
I have felt for a few years that Heavenly Father wanted me to serve a mission, but I’ve had doubts about my ability and concerns regarding the welfare of those I would be leaving. I am concerned for my children who are experiencing unusual and stressful challenges right now; for my grandchildren who are growing so quickly and may grieve my absence or forget me; for dear friends who have lived long and productive lives and are nearing the end of their mortal sojourn; and others who deal with chronic and physical impairments. How will all of them fare while I am gone and will they be here when I return?
I told no one aside from the bishop, Pres. Edgington and my children of my intention to serve so that if I changed my mind I wouldn’t be embarrassed or need to explain to people why I had backed out. Then Elder Holland spoke and said, “. . . there can be no halfway measures, no starting and stopping, no turning back. . . . He [Jesus] said, “No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” With Elder Holland’s counsel, I knew that in submitting my papers and receiving a call, I had put my hand to the plough, so to speak, and I needed to cease questioning my decision and to move forward in faith.
Through the scriptures, the Savior has given me some assurance. From Proverbs 3:5 he has said, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.
From D&C 31:3 “Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed. . . Wherefore your family shall live. (Loosening my tongue is a big one).
And then the most reassuring came from Crystal Robison who teaches my grandson Nico in Primary. One day this summer after Church, she gave me this little angel made out of a paper plate to give to Nico who was absent that day. At the bottom is written this phrase from D&C 84:88, “. . . mine angels round about you, to bear you up.” I kept the angel and placed it above my kitchen sink. I see it every day and will take it with me to LA. I’m sure that those angels will include my angel family and friends here and Larry and loved ones on the other side of the veil.
We, this “crowd of faults” and “congregation of Saints” are endearing to me. I love you and am grateful for your friendship, for your goodness, your service to me and my family over many years, your faith and testimony. For those who may be watching this meeting via Zoom who do not regularly attend church, I encourage you to come back and participate with us in worshipping the Lord. We miss you and love you and need you. As President Oaks stated in his recent address, “In church attendance and participation, our hearts are, as the Bible says, ‘knit together in love.”
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