Merlynn was an amazing woman. She was incredibly patient and even tempered. Kent reports that she never raised her voice, she never appeared ruffled, she never let the vicissitudes of life overwhelm her. She was gracious and generous and incredibly non-judgmental. She opened her home and her heart to others; anyone was not only welcome but well-fed when they arrived at her house. She raised eight children with faithful devotion to God and family, and balanced responsibilities at home with those at Church.
On Thursday last, in an uncharacteristic outpouring of love to me, Blythe said, "Mom, you're the best mom in the whole world." Considering that Grandma Merlynn had died the day before, I replied, "Well, now that Grandma Merlynn has gone to Heaven, there is an opening for best mom in the whole world. I'm not sure I really qualify, but I guess I could be in the running." She really was the best.
We will miss Grandma. Her slow decline over the past five years or so, however, makes the parting less bitter and much more sweet. We know she is herself again, that her spirit rejoices to be where she is now and not where she has been. We have laughed that upon arrival on the other side, she was greeted by John and likely said, "Well John, what are you doing here." He died two years ago when she was already mentally deficient enough not to be aware of what was happening around her. We had shed few tears at her passing, knowing she is happy and busy.
As I said, this week has been one of celebration. On Sunday, we had a large-ish family gathering at our house for dinner. We had the Brinkerhoffs all here (they flew in on Saturday), plus Lee, Cammie, and Aaron, George, and Jim Draculis. Brandt and Blythe were overjoyed that their cousins were here. They love the Brinkerhofferschnofferdoos and have missed them tremendously since they moved to Indiana. The older cousins were so good with Brandt and Blythe, and almost immediately after their departure, both kids said, "When can we play with our cousins again?" We hammered out some funeral details, but mostly just talked and reminisced and shared our love. George and the Brinkerhoffs had all been to church in the old Grandview ward, and they reported a huge outpouring of love from ward members. Lots of women signed up to help with the funeral luncheon, and George felt like he was back where he belonged.
On Monday, Anna Leesa invited us all over to the Stanley's house for family home evening. Grandpa George, the Brinkerhoffs, Lee, the four of us, David and Sharon with Josh, Jonathan, Seth, and Becca, plus Brooke and her kids, Katie and Drew and their four, and Anna Leesa and Brianne. Anna Leesa conducted family home evening, and we had a great time. We sang and prayed, had business (viewing and funeral instruction/information), played a hilarious game where we couldn't show our teeth but which made everyone laugh (it is very difficult to laugh without showing your teeth), and then shared "lessons we've learned from our parents," but more specifically, those we'd learned from Merlynn.
I shared that Merlynn was always positive and never criticized. She and I attended a Relief Society dinner in the Grandview ward many years ago that was probably the worst meal I have ever eaten. The food was cold and repulsive. It was horrid and vile. The next day or so, we were gathered together and I was complaining about how terrible it had been. Kent had been asked to help serve and he was completely backing me up, agreeing wholeheartedly about how awful it was. Merlynn said, in her sweet voice, talking about those who had been responsible for the meal, "They certainly could have done things differently," but left it at that. There was no agreeing with me about how bad it was, although I know she did agree. She was being charitable where I was being critical. Good lesson.
Kent shared that he learned early on that you should always listen to your mother. He liked to go down to the golf course with buddies and salvage golf balls that he would then sell back to golfers. One night when he and two other guys were going down, Merlynn said, "Kent, I don't think this is a good idea. If you get arrested, don't call me to come get you out." He chuckled at that and went on his way. He and his buddies and only barely launched into their salvage operation when they were approached by policemen with hands on holsters and told to desist immediately, then hauled off to jail. Turns out, the night before, other people had been on the golf course and done much damage, driving golf carts in to the water and wreaking havoc. Kent and his friends had the misfortune to choose the very next night to be where they shouldn't really be. Kent didn't want to call home, knowing he had ignored his mother's warning, but he called home anyway. True to her word, Merlynn did not come get them; it was George who went down to bring them home.
We finished up our evening with pie, more singing, and snuggling of small people we don't see very often. Jack and Avey, Brooke's children, showed off their music skills, and Jack even accompanied me as I sang a goofy song to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw" which he can play in two different major keys and a minor key too. It was wonderful to be together.
One picture with Tad (I'm taking the picture) and one picture with me (Tad taking the picture).
If I knew how to do Photoshop, I could combine them to be one picture with both of us.
But I don't, so I won't.
Friday evening we had a viewing, and yesterday was Merlynn's funeral. Both were wonderful. It was is nice to see people from their ward (our former ward) as well as family and other friends, and to remember Merlynn. We visited and shared stories and laughed and cried a bit, though not much. I know people come together for weddings and funerals, and it was good to have the chance to talk. Because both Kent's parents and mine have lived in the same ward for so many years, it was a reunion of sorts, and a joyful one at that.
Merlynn's funeral was beautiful. Michelle gave a very nice life sketch and shared with us the events of the last week of Merlynn's life. It was good to know how that all went, seeing as how we were all very far away. Aunt Bertha (her sister) shared fun memories of Merlynn growing up, and Nate shared some thoughts about Grandma, both his and Craig's (who was supposed to speak but is in Taiwan). All of them shared how kind and patient and welcoming Merlynn was, even from a young age. Lee spoke about the plan of salvation and our need to remain faithful in order to enjoy the promised blessing of a joyful reunion on the other side of the veil, and a chance to return to our Heavenly Father. He was very serious, but he takes funerals seriously. We had all the grand and great-grandchildren sing "Families Can Be Together Forever," and Brianne and Anna Leesa performed a flute/piano duet of "Come Thou Fount." I conducted the singing and must say I was very moved by the sight of all George and Merlynn's grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Most of them were there. Of the 31 grandchildren, only seven were missing (six over seas including two on a mission, and one on a cruise with her husband), and twenty of the 25 great-grandchildren were there. They filled the stand several deep and looked beautiful. I'm sure Merlynn loved it. The Stake President also spoke briefly. It really was a great service.
Brandt was thrilled to have been chosen as an honorary pallbearer and proudly showed off his red carnation. When it came time to carry out the casket, he went to help, holding on at the back as the big guys carried from the sides. He also helped carry the casket from the hearse down to the grave site. Merlynn is at East Lawn, with John and my dad, which will make Memorial Day a great time to visit lots of people all at once. John is on the west side of the cemetery, my dad in the middle, and Merlynn on the east.
The Barrus Family, en masse.
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