Christmas Thoughts

Kent and I sing in the ward choir. I love it. The act of singing songs of praise to God and Jesus Christ in a group is powerful. For our Christmas Eve program, we have been preparing a song that runs through my mind at least once a day. The song is called "Shine for Me Again, Star of Bethlehem." 

The lyrics tell a beautiful story of a shepherd boy, a bit player in the big story of the nativity. Here are the lyrics:

The night was long, we traveled far, at times I looked but could not see the star. Yet still it shone, unveiling then, the way to Bethlehem.

My heart held fear 'mid puzzled joy, for I was only a small shepherd boy. And on a hillside soft and green, I head an angel sing. I saw the midnight sky aflame with radiant angels bath in light, holy light, bringing word that Christ was born and beckoning to find Him. Go and find Him.

A sweeter face I ne'er will see than of those loving eyes smiling up at me. I found a King, I found a Friend that night in Bethlehem. 

But life goes on, years beyond one brief night of my youth. Time clouds my vision of truth. And tho' I stumble and fall, I can hear someone call, "Do not despair, your star is still there."

That Christmas night so long ago has filled my life with light because I know that He lives now as He did then, a King in Bethlehem; Whose love never ends. Shine for me again, Star of Bethlehem. 

Over the last couple of months, as the choir has prepared this and other songs for Christmas, I have thought about my own experiences with Christ. As a child and youth, I felt the Spirit testify so strongly of Christ. In Primary, Young Women, at camp, in the temple performing baptisms, and especially as a missionary, I felt Christ with me as a friend. I know the pure faith I had as a young person was real and powerful. I felt his loving eyes smiling down at me. It was easy to believe as I was filled with holy light.

Then life became complicated. Daily challenges have weighed me down. Disappointment, fear, despair, heartache, and sadness have clouded my visions of truth. I have struggled with my faith, with my obedience, and being able to feel Christ's love. I have felt alone and hopeless in a dark world, unable to see or feel the light, so distant from the radiance of holy light. 

Yet though I might wander in the dark, the invitation to "Go and find Him" remains open and real. The Savior himself issued the invitation, "Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me.” The line in the song, "Do not despair, your star is still there," makes me cry every time we sing it.  Christ, the Light of the World, is still there. He is always there. He is the light and the life of the World. He lives now as he lived then, my friend, my advocate, my comfort and joy. He will guide me; He will bring me out of darkness and despair for He is the Light of the World. He loves me. 

In this Christmas season, I rejoice in the birth of Christ, in his life, example, atonement, and resurrection. I testify of his love and look forward to the moment when his loving eyes will smile on me.