Botanical Mystery Solved

About two weeks ago we planted the garden along the front walk.  I had bought some cucumbers that were advertised as being just right for pots, and so I bought two starts, wanting to have a variety of veg, even though we have limited space.  The cucumbers have not been thriving.  Everything else has been doing fine, but not the cukes.  I have wondered if it  has been too cold or too wet, or if I didn't transplant correctly.

Can you even see the plants?

So sad.

Late last week I discovered Brandt had taken both initiative and responsibility for the garden.  I stepped outside to find him with his shorts around his ankles, "watering" the cucumbers with a steady stream of pee equally divided between the two pots.  I must admit I shrieked a bit in surprise.  Brandt was genuinely surprised at my surprise because, as I well know, "Boys can pee in nature, but not girls."  I explained that what was coming out of his body was not water, and that the plants were not benefiting from his efforts.  

Not only was he killing the cucumbers (they have fully succumbed and are no more), he was dropping his pants and peeing just outside our neighbors' kitchen window.  While that is embarrassing, our neighbors really like our kids and think they are very funny, so I am sure they won't complain.  I will, however, about the demise of our plants.