Funny Texts

January 11, 2022

Me to Mikayla: "Don't you love how the school district calls us at 5:30 am on every single phone we own to tell us no one has to be at school before 9:30am?"

Not!

Same day: "I'm vacuuming and then I'm going to mop. Then I might get dressed." #goals

January 17, 2022

Me to Mikayla: "I dreamt you and I bundled up our children and drove to California to see Mom and play on the beach. We stayed in a little house on Aunt Grace's property. I was so excited! Then I woke up and was crushingly disappointed."

same day, slightly later

Mikayla to me: "Should I download Libby?" Libby is a library app that allows you to check out books on your phone, either to read or to listen to.

Me in response: "I use it all the time. I can't always find what I want and I do have to wait for stuff, but there are lots of books readily available. I like listening to books when I'm driving and cleaning and walking and making dinner and ignoring my husband. Scratch that last part."

January 20, 2022

Me to Mikayla: "I have a solution to your insomnia. You should read government or private corporation training manuals. I'm two minutes into my first training of the day I was nearly overcome by almost immediate fatigue. I bet it would work for you every time. Maybe we should look into that as a money-making option. We could sell outdated government training manuals as sleep aids. We need to go dumpster diving in the back of the downtown government offices."

January 21, 2022

Mikayla and I are having lunch together and she is going to pick up food at Molly's. After I ask if she wants my order, she texts, "I figured I already knew your order. Pomegranate chicken, dutch oven potatoes, spinach salad, cheddar biscuit, lemonade, salted caramel cookie."

Me to Mikayla in response: "That's it! I shouldn't have the cookie or the lemonade. But as I'm already fat, life has so few pleasures a Latter-day Saint can enjoy, so I'm going to have both and look forward to a perfected body eventually" (as Latter-day Saints believe in the resurrection).

August 15, 2022

Mikayla texts on way home from California

"I just hit beaver."

I reply, "You are making good time! I will tell you I initially read your text as 'I just hit A beaver' and I wondered what in the hell a beaver was doing on the freeway."

August 16, 2022

From Mikayla: We just drove home from Grandma Sue's and Thea said, "Mom, how about we go see Grantie Kake and eat outside there." I thought it was sweet.

I did too, and as a result, we had lunch the following day, meeting at a park so the kids could play and Mikayla and I could visit. 

Dec 27, 2022

Kent: "Did Posh Spice stop by to sign her signature card yet?" This in jest after I related the dream I had last night about trying to figure out how to open accounts for the Spice Girls when they live in England and the bank is in Provo, Utah. While this is funny in itself, it is made even funnier by the fact that Kent sent it through the ward choir text.

Replied Angela Bradford: "Usually I'm grumpy when texts wake me up from an unexpected yet much needed mid-afternoon nap, but that fact that this went to the choir group softens the blow a little. Thanks for the entertainment, Kent."

Kent: "new phones are so much fun to figure out. My apologies. I meant to ask if Sporty Spice had dropped by."