National Tell a Joke Day

We had our neighbors, the Stovalls, come for dinner this evening. As it is National Tell a Joke Day, I asked them each to come prepared to share a joke. After dinner, we all shared. Here are some of the jokes.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?  Because he was too chicken.
Mark (5, autistic) told this joke, and when he got to the punchline, he held up two fingers. Because he was "two" chicken. That threw Kent off, who didn't understand why two chickens couldn't cross the road. That was funny, two!

What did the traffic light say to the car?  Don't look--I'm about to change! (Rebekah)

How does Darth Vader like his toast?  On the dark side.  (Elizabeth)

Why did the masseuse have to close his shop?  He kept rubbing people the wrong way. (Brandt)

A duck waddles into a corner store and asks the man behind the counter, "Got any duck food?" "No," the man replies. We don't carry duck food. This is a grocery store." So the duck waddles out. The next day, the duck waddles into the corner store again and asks the man behind the counter, "Got any duck food?" "Hey!" the man says. "I recognize you. You're that duck that was in here yesterday. I told you we don't have any duck food. We've never had duck food and we never will. Now get out of here! If I see you in here again, I'll nail your little webbed feet to the floor." So the duck waddles out. Wouldn't you know it, the next day, the duck waddles into the corner store and asks the man behind the counter, "Got any nails?" "No," the man replies. "Got any duck food?" the duck asks.  (Katherine)

What's the best think about Switzerland?  I don't know, but the flag's a big plus. (Zach)

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. (Rebekah, joke two, who didn't really understand it at all.)

A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken running down the road. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph.  Pretty fast chicken, he thought, I wonder just how fast it can run. So he sped up and the chicken did too! They were now moving along the road at 45 mph! The man in the car sped up again, to his surprise the chicken was still running ahead of him at 60 mph!!! Suddenly the chicken turned off the road and ran down a long driveway leading to a farmhouse. The man followed the chicken to the house and saw a man in the yard with dozens of three legged chickens. The man in the car called out to the farmer "How did you get all these three legged chickens?" The farmer replied, "I breed 'em. Ya see it's me, my wife and my son living here and we all like to eat the chicken leg. Since a chicken only has two legs, I started breeding this three legged variety so we could all eat our favorite piece." "That's amazing!" said the driver "How do they taste?" "Don't rightly know, I ain't caught one yet!"  (Kent)

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it. (Dakin)

Have you heard about the mathematician afraid of negative numbers?  I head he'd stop at nothing to avoid them. (Luke)

What did the acorn say when it grew up? Geometry!  (John)

Sadly, Blythe chose not to participate, so no joke from her. She was going to share the following--Do you want to hear a dirty joke?  A horse walked through some mud.--but she decided it wasn't very funny, got stuck on it, and couldn't come up with anything else. 

It was a fun evening!