Mother's Day

Today is my third Mother's Day as a mother.  To be frank, it hasn't been the best mom week ever.  I have spent the week cleaning up messes big and small, the crowning achievement being Blythe's smearing of bag balm (like Vaseline) on our not even a year old couch.  By Thursday I had about had it.  I was ready to throw in the towel and move to Wisconsin just to get away from it all.  And yet my children are so sweet, I can't imagine life now without them.  I have found motherhood to be such a varied and altering experience, I want to share my views of being a mother.

Being a mother is:


Maturing.  I used to think I knew a lot about what it took to raise a child.  I am the oldest in my family and had been given a lot of responsibility, but nothing really prepares you for the arrival of parenthood in the form of a small bundle of person.  There is a sharp learning curve.  Adding a second child, even if that child is not such a small bundle, brings another steep learning curve.  I have a much greater appreciation for my mother and grandmothers and for mothers everywhere.  I believe my empathy and compassion have increased, I have a greater desire to serve others, and I appreciate much more service rendered to me too.  I find myself turning to and relying more on the Lord because I want good things for my children, and because I know Kent and I can't do it ("it" being parenting) on our own as well as we can do it with God.  I believe I have a clearer understanding of what I want for our family now that our family is more than just two people, and all of that has come because I became a mom.
Overwhelming.  I have to keep our children safe, clean, fed, clothed, entertained, educated, happy together, spiritually taught and enlightened.  I also work to insure they know I love them, their dad loves them, Heavenly Father loves them, and that they are capable people, even if they are small.  I must teach them to be responsible, kind, to share with others, grateful for all that they have, and willing to serve.  And I am supposed to do all that with a glad heart, while keeping the house clean, and myself in reasonably good shape.  I will admit to having the odd day of depression (or desperation).
Terrific.  There is nothing better than snuggling up with two small bodies to read stories in the evening.  Except having a small person throw his arms around me and give me a huge hug and lots of kisses.  Or having that small small person say, "I love you, Mom."  Or having a different small person demand to be picked up and then have her snuggle into me, head on my chest, arms tucked between us, legs wrapped tightly around my waist.  Or having a wrestle, which is really only growling and rolling around on the floor while tickling.  But hearing the musical laughter of our children might be the very best thing of all.
Humorous.  My kids say the funniest things, sometimes deliberately, but most often just by being themselves. Blythe is a crass opportunist and will stealthily give me tummy-gummers when we are reading stories or watching TV.  She will scowl and growl at us if she is not happy with something we have done, and she jumps up and down when she is excited.  Brandt makes hilarious suggestions about what we should have for dinner (caterpillar toast being a favorite).  He sings great songs like "Follow the Prophet . . . on his motorcycle," and he regularly comes up with wonderful scenarios for stories he wants us to tell featuring himself as the protagonist ("Tell me story about fireman Brandt" or policeman Brandt or ambulance driver Brandt or conductor Brandt.  I think I see a possible line of action figures in development).  He also says things are "driving him crazy."
Exhausting.  I find the constant bickering between brother and sister too much most of the time.  Why can they not get along?  And why do they get up so early in the morning?  And why won't they eat?  And how can they have so much energy in their little bodies that I, an adult, am run ragged?
Rewarding.  Watching our children learn and listening to their questions and observations and knowing that we get to be together forever is a wonder.  Seeing them master new skills or play together without shouting or hitting or fighting but actually enjoying each other is gratifying.  Being a mother is hard work, and some days, truthfully, I think it stinks.  But most of the time I watch my children in awe, amazed that I get to be their mom.  I have the opportunity to help them become the best people they can be, and to help them understand they are children of God. While the pay is minimal (non-existent), the hours long, and the praise infrequent, my decision to become a mom--twice--has been the best decision I have ever made in my married life.  In my unmarried life, deciding to marry Kent was the best decision I ever made, because parenting with Kent is a tremendously rewarding experience too.  He is the better parent in our partnership--more patient than I--and I am grateful this Mother's Day for his mom who raised him well.  I daily benefit from her sacrifices all those years ago.