Speaking Aloud What I Know

Yesterday morning as I knelt to say my prayers, Brandt came into our bedroom.  He knelt down next to me and said, "Mom, what are you doing?"  As I had only just begun, I stopped and told him I was praying.  I asked if he wanted to stay with me and he did, and then I asked if he wanted me to pray out loud so he could hear what I was saying.  He said yes, so I began.

During my prayer, I expressed how I was sad that my dad had died and that I missed him.  Brandt is wont to pipe up and add things as we pray, regardless of who is actually saying the prayer, if he feels we might miss talking to Heavenly Father about something he thinks is important.  As I expressed that I missed Dad, Brandt immediately said, "But he is with you," meaning Heavenly Father.  I was sort of crying and his comment made me really cry.

I am so happy to realize that Brandt has a testimony of the Plan of Salvation.  He knows that Grandpa De's spirit is still alive, even if he body isn't.  I am grateful that I had shared my testimony with Brandt in the wake of my father's death so that he would learn to know and understand, as I do, that Dad is in a good place.  It is a comfort to me to know that Brandt is learning the gospel, that things we are teaching him are actually sinking in and becoming part of his worldview, especially when family home evenings and family scripture and prayer are often less than reverent.

I also realized that bearing my testimony, expressing my convictions aloud, has far more power than if I just believe in my heart but never say anything.  Speaking aloud what I know reaffirms my belief and can strengthen others.  When I was in the MTC, I remember praying for a testimony of Joseph Smith.  I had a firm testimony of the Book of Mormon; I knew it was true.  And if the Book of Mormon is true, Joseph Smith had to be a prophet.  But before I went out to tell others that Joseph Smith had seen God the Father and Jesus Christ, I wanted to have an equally strong conviction.  One day, as we were practicing teaching, I was to teach the principle in the first discussion about the first vision.  As I taught, I bore my testimony of the truthfulness of that experience, that Joseph Smith had seen God and Jesus Christ, and that he was called as a prophet.  As I spoke those words, the Spirit filled my heart and I knew it was true.  But it took me actually saying I knew for me to feel that I did.

I regularly pray that my children will develop a love of the gospel, and I know that I am largely responsible to see that that happens.  I need to take advantage of every opportunity to share my convictions, aloud, with Brandt and Blythe so that they will know I know and love the gospel.